Being SDU - Waiting for Miss Right

"You want to wait for how long? Wait until you cannot make it stand is it?" My good-hearted male friends would always tell me over la kopi sessions whenever we are talking about relationships. Somehow, those la kopi conversations will always lead to my bacherlor status.

Thats for always telling them that I'm waiting for the Miss Right to come along.

"You don't try how you know if they are Miss Right or not? Lower your expectations lah! How many times already? So many times you catch the girl's attention but you everytime either say the wrong thing or do stupid things. Where got hope like that?!" they would always say.

I guess always being on the lookout for pretty faces made my standard and expectations gone up. And maybe because of that, I see little hope with whatever opportunities that come my way.

According to my ex-gf, she told me about all my bad points when I was still with her and she hated it but oculdn't bear to tell me. Now that we are not together, she dumped everything on me during a friendly MSN conversation. How the conversation lead to that I don't know.

Maybe I said the wrong thing.

Come to think of it, it was kind of true. If I don't try, how would I know? But how would I know if she is the one?

Is she the one if she makes my heart flutter whenever I'm with her? Is she the one when I have to hear her voice everyday? Is she the one when she is the first person I think of every morning when I wake up?

How to tell?

Also, I think I've said this before, I can't really communicate with women. Communicate as in getting them to... reveal themselves. Friendly conversations and safe topics are what I usually stick to when I'm out with them one on one.

If I can't even get past this barrier, what hope did I ever have in the first place?

Also, I don't think that I will be able to adapt to couplehood after being single for so long. I'm bound to make mistakes, like not calling everyday, meeting my other female friends on the sly and such.

I can lower my expectations and accept any Jane, Amy and Sally yes, but I don't want to.

I don't want to succumb to the social norm, where you study, find a job, get married, have kids, die. If I want to get attached or even get married, I would rather wait for the one than to regret it later.

Yes, even if I have to wait until I cannot even make it stand.