Being SDU - Breaking through the comfort zone
I used to be able to laugh it off easily when people say,"You still single? But you are not ugly what."
These words can come from practically anybody, be it the hairdresser at the salon, long-time-no-see friends, my neighbours or even my relatives.
As time goes by, instead of laughing, I just give a smile instead. I've also learnt to come up with pre-prepared answers for any Q&A segments regarding my bacherlorhood.
Think of it as a script. I will reply these set of words given what the opposite party says. Since there isn't much they can actually ask, I get the last say most of the time.
Good friends will sometimes try to play matchmaker or ask me why don't I consider so and so since she is still single yada yada.
I appreciate the help. Really. But after encountering much setbacks, I don't think I'm financially or emotionally ready to share my life with another human being just yet.
According to Stefan Lim,
The greatest challenge of converting an acquaintance to a life-long partner lies in the journey to become part of his or her life. Every individual would have been part of a circle of friends and comfortably leading life in his/her comfort zone. It does not only take desire, but genuine action and effort to gain the trust and acceptance that you can be part of his or life. It is about touching the heart of the person you love; it is about creating emotional dependence between 2 individuals; it is about shifting mental models; it is about taking somebody out of his or her comfort zone of existing friendships to lead a new life with you; it is about making him or her feel comfortable communicating with you; it is about giving hope to each other.
Read all about it here.
As I grow older, going to Chinese New Year gatherings becomes a drag. I can practically see the dissapointed look on my grandma's face when I turn up with my family members instead of a female stranger.
These words can come from practically anybody, be it the hairdresser at the salon, long-time-no-see friends, my neighbours or even my relatives.
As time goes by, instead of laughing, I just give a smile instead. I've also learnt to come up with pre-prepared answers for any Q&A segments regarding my bacherlorhood.
Think of it as a script. I will reply these set of words given what the opposite party says. Since there isn't much they can actually ask, I get the last say most of the time.
Good friends will sometimes try to play matchmaker or ask me why don't I consider so and so since she is still single yada yada.
I appreciate the help. Really. But after encountering much setbacks, I don't think I'm financially or emotionally ready to share my life with another human being just yet.
According to Stefan Lim,
The greatest challenge of converting an acquaintance to a life-long partner lies in the journey to become part of his or her life. Every individual would have been part of a circle of friends and comfortably leading life in his/her comfort zone. It does not only take desire, but genuine action and effort to gain the trust and acceptance that you can be part of his or life. It is about touching the heart of the person you love; it is about creating emotional dependence between 2 individuals; it is about shifting mental models; it is about taking somebody out of his or her comfort zone of existing friendships to lead a new life with you; it is about making him or her feel comfortable communicating with you; it is about giving hope to each other.
Read all about it here.
As I grow older, going to Chinese New Year gatherings becomes a drag. I can practically see the dissapointed look on my grandma's face when I turn up with my family members instead of a female stranger.
Ranking my cousins in my family, the older ones are all married and my turn is somewhat coming soon. Each year when I receive a red packet from my relatives, they will ask the same old question.
"Eh come alone again ah? Why no girlfriend?"
At least if I'm employed, I can always give the excuse that I'm concentrating on my career first. Imagine if I am unemployed long after I graduate. There is no chance in hell you will see me going visiting my relatives again.
I don't need your ten dollars! How long can it last me? Ten lousy bucks doesn't entitle you to humiliate me in front of the rest of the family loh! Apart from being unemployed, I know I'm still very much lonely, single and unsuccessful thank you very much! I don't need you to remind me of my pathetic state.
I rather be at home watching re-runs of Seinfeld or Friends.
posted by thelecherousmonk at 11:00 AM
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